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Reload this Page Stephen Colbert's Evolution Test:

Religion and Politics Discuss how Religion has and does affect the world we live in.

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Old 12-21-2007, 05:17 PM
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Default Stephen Colbert's Evolution Test:
The following is a simple test to discover for yourself that Evolution is a lie. (This is all coming from Stephen Colbert's book, I Am America (And So Can You!). If you don't celebrate Christmas, go out and get it. If you do, and you don't get it for Christmas, go out and get it the day after Christmas. You shouldn't be getting **** for yourself right now! You're about to get x presents!

Anyway, on to the test. What you need:

A fish bowl.
A copy of Charles Darwin's Origin of Species.
A hamster.
A pitcher of water.

Quote:
Step 1: Fill Your fishbowl with the water.

Step 2: Drop your hamster into the fishbowl.

Step 3: Cover the fishbowl with Darwin's Origin of Species.

Step 4: Seems like a pretty desperate situation Skip (the hamster) has gotten himself into! This would be an ideal time for Evolution to kick in!

Step 5: Follow the Scientific Method--observe! Is the hamster "evolving" gills? Has he "evolved" a jackhammer to drill through the fishbowl, or "adapted to his environment" with a tin hamster flamethrower to burn through Origin of Species? Didn't think so.

Step 6: Let the hamster go. Just because Darwin was a sick twist with a God complex doesn't mean we have to buy into his power trip.
(You could also call the hamster ("Teddy.")
Stephen Colbert at his finest, folks.
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Old 12-21-2007, 05:21 PM
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I like to believe that the higher beings had a sence of humor, and made the world so that it would change,
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Old 12-21-2007, 05:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miriya View Post
I like to believe that the higher beings had a sence of humor, and made the world so that it would change,
That is the official Roman Catholic view on this issue.

Big bang theory and evolutionary theory are accepted by the RCC under the 'watchmaker analogy'. This doctrinal change occured some 40 years ago.

Few seem aware of it though.
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Old 12-21-2007, 09:06 PM
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God has a sense of humor...It's called the Platypus. I cannot wait til he back on the air.
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Old 12-22-2007, 06:43 AM
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Originally Posted by White Rabbit View Post
That is the official Roman Catholic view on this issue...Few seem aware of it though.
As far as I know the primary force behind anti-evolutionary 'thought' is from Protestants of various denominations, not Catholics.
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Old 12-22-2007, 12:34 PM
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Colbert is the man.

Stephen Colbert For President 2008
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Old 12-22-2007, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyr View Post
The following is a simple test to discover for yourself that Evolution is a lie. (This is all coming from Stephen Colbert's book, I Am America (And So Can You!). If you don't celebrate Christmas, go out and get it. If you do, and you don't get it for Christmas, go out and get it the day after Christmas. You shouldn't be getting **** for yourself right now! You're about to get x presents!

Anyway, on to the test. What you need:

A fish bowl.
A copy of Charles Darwin's Origin of Species.
A hamster.
A pitcher of water.



Stephen Colbert at his finest, folks.
You meant this as a joke but some may take it seriously, don't encourage them.
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Old 12-22-2007, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by White Rabbit View Post
That is the official Roman Catholic view on this issue.

Big bang theory and evolutionary theory are accepted by the RCC under the 'watchmaker analogy'. This doctrinal change occured some 40 years ago.

Few seem aware of it though.
Careful, you'll give Bill Donohue a coronary.
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Old 12-22-2007, 02:49 PM
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Is God being humorous when he makes poorly engineers animals? Or is it a gaffe when people get smashed by hurricanes. Maybe that's the punchline.
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Old 12-22-2007, 04:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mkfffe View Post
God has a sense of humor...It's called the Platypus. I cannot wait til he back on the air.
No, his best funny was ducks:

Quote:
When God had finished the stars and whirl of coloured suns
He turned His mind from big things to fashion little ones;
Beautiful tiny things (like daisies) He made, and then
He made the comical ones in case the minds of men
Should stiffen and become
Dull, humourless and glum,
And so forgetful of their Maker be
As to take even themselves - quite seriously.
Caterpillars and cats are lively and excellent puns:
All God's jokes are good - even the practical ones!
And as for the duck, 1 think God must have smiled a bit
Seeing those bright eyes blink on the day He fashioned it.
And he's probably laughing still at the sound that came out of its bill!
by F. W Harvey
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