DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.

REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION:
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION:
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION:
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION:
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION:
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

__________________
Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore
Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber
If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President
One Nation Under Clod
They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It
Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too
The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century
_____________________________

Lightseeds

Very funny!

You forgot the British one:

You have two cows
Both have foot and mouth
You have to exterminate them both

__________________
Trust me, I'm a socialist!

There's power in a factory,power in the land, power in the hand of the worker. But it all amounts to nothing if together we don't stand, there is power in a union.
The union forever defending our rights, down with the blackleg, workers unite. To our brothers and our sisters in many far off lands, there is power in a union.
Money speaks for money, the devil for his own. - Billy Bragg

Great stuff!

lol good un

__________________
If there ever was in the history of humanity an enemy who was truly universal, an enemy whose acts and moves trouble the entire world, threaten the entire world, attack the entire world in any way or another, that real and really universal enemy is precisely Yankee imperialism - Fidel Castro

Unbreakable union of freeborn republics
Great Russia has welded forever to stand
Created in struggle by will of the people
United and mighty our Soviet Land

Hands Off Venezuela - Home

LOL! I haven't seen that one before.

__________________
Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore
Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber
If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President
One Nation Under Clod
They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It
Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too
The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century
_____________________________

Lightseeds

That was a hoot and a half!

__________________
I have a great interest in all things related to politics ,liberty, economics, and the law.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ****."

__________________
The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.
— Native American Proverb

Even though i saw it coming it was damn funny.

__________________
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
-- Milton Berle
.................................................. ........................

OK for the last time....

Or BSE!!!:D:D

You know that Irish people are pettrified of British beef!!!

Mid you we do produce the best agricultural products on the continent!!

__________________
"We will disobey your laws as long as they are unjust and they make a world shaped only for your profit"-G8 protestor Genoa 2001





NO PASERÁN!!

"We learned a long time ago that we should never subject ourselves to the schedules of the powerful. We had to follow our own calendar and impose it on those above.” - Subcommandante Marcos