Originally Posted by Stalin

Hereby, I, MIKHAIL R. STALIN, issue following decree, on glorious MAY DAY 30 year 129 STALIN ERA.

To 1§ Denounce dissolution of Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

To 2§ Bring back all property of Soviet people which was stolen by soulless parasites in years of 112-114 A.S.

To 3§ Bring all thieves, parasites and rootless cosmopolitans to trial for plunder, murder and treason of GLORIOUS SOVIET MOTHERLAND.

To 4§ Demand that all officials of phoney states established upon illegal dissolution of GLORIOUS SOVIET MOTHERLAND, should step down from their chairs and create temporary government to assist transition back to SOVIET SOCIALISM.

To 5§ Demand that my GLORIOUS FATHER and our ETERNAL GREAT LEADER, J.V STALIN, is given proper burial in Kremlin.

To 6§ Issue reinstitution of GLORIOUS RED ARMY and holy order of Communism - KGB.

To 7§ Banish all parasites and foreign bandits from GLORIOUS SOVIET MOTHERLAND.

To 8§ Fulfill my duty and take my GLORIOUS FATHER's place as rightful GENERAL SECRETARY of GLORIOUS SOVIET MOTHERLAND, so that I with support of SPECTRE OF COMMUNISM could rule with benign and stern justice, elevate rightfulness and punish wickedness in all lands of EARTH, leading CREED to RED PARADISE.

This was DECREE NO. 1. OF STALIN, signed MAY DAY 30 year 129 STALIN ERA, by:

His GLORIOUS ANOINTED SON
Chosen Ruler of All Creed
Great Helmsman of SOVIET RACE
SUPREME GENERAL SECRETARY of GLORIOUS SOVIET MOTHERLAND
G.A.S-C.R.A.C-G.H.S.R-S.G.S.G.S.M
MIKHAIL R. STALIN

"And a spectre was haunting Europe -- a spectre of communism. All evil powers of old Europe entered into unholy alliance to exorcise this spectre to advance cause of Death and Decay. But communism prevailed, and with communism, Man was raised from ape and given class conciousness." ~ First Book of Marx, Chapter 1. Verse 1.