The article below deals with domestic violence. This sub always has a high profile at this time of year due to the rise in instances which occurs when people are confined together over the festive season. Alcohol, debt problems, etc etc all play a part.

I have found there are different takes on this issue depending on the gender of the speaker, so would like to hear how posters view it.

I have kept the poll private, to encourage honesty.

If anyone has an option they'd like to include in the poll options, please post.

In Spain we can only feel ashamed!

More than five women have been killed in 2008; About 60 in 2007. It is really a very important problem over here. Husband/boyfriend/partner is ussually the killer.

The socialists goverment that's ruling Spain right now, issued a law to prevent domestic violence that is clearly against the principles of the Penal Law, therefore is not being useful.

Basically this law says that if I punch my wife in her face, from a penal point of view, this is a crime. If my wife punch me in my face, it is just a misdemeanour, you know, an action which is slightly bad or breaks a rule but is not a crime. And this is not fare, even when men are the ones behind the killings in more than 95% of the cases

A solution IMHO: anyone who dares to kill her husband or his wife will have to observe a 40 years sentence, no parole, no benefit that any inmate might have.

Saludos

Isn't it fair though?

A woman is physically less strong than a man.

If she hits a man it is likely to do less damage and as the man's physique is generally stronger he can surely protect himself better.

I don't think men understand how a woman feels when confronted by an angry male...

Women can't have it both ways: there can't be equality in some things but not others. I understand that it must be quite a frightening experience to be confronted by an angry guy but women can not expect to be allowed to punch a man in the face and get away with it. Obviously damage caused has to be taken into account so it may end up in a lesser sentence, but to say that female on male violence is not a serious crime is ridiculous.

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Trust me, I'm a socialist!

There's power in a factory,power in the land, power in the hand of the worker. But it all amounts to nothing if together we don't stand, there is power in a union.
The union forever defending our rights, down with the blackleg, workers unite. To our brothers and our sisters in many far off lands, there is power in a union.
Money speaks for money, the devil for his own. - Billy Bragg

Women will never have it both ways.

There can never be equality in physical strength. Nor will they ever equal men in aggression.

Therefore, women will always require greater protection in law than men.

Let me bring this into the discussion to liven things up a little...what do people think of Sean Connery's at***ude?

Please be honest...:

YouTube - Barbra Walters interviews Sean Connery on smackin' bitches

O.k., yeh women do have less physical strength in most cases but women have other advantages that they can use. yeh, i agree that maybe if a man hits a woman he should get a harsher sentence, depending on the damage (physical and emotional) caused, but saying that a woman hitting a man is a "misdemeanour" is not enough for me.

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Trust me, I'm a socialist!

There's power in a factory,power in the land, power in the hand of the worker. But it all amounts to nothing if together we don't stand, there is power in a union.
The union forever defending our rights, down with the blackleg, workers unite. To our brothers and our sisters in many far off lands, there is power in a union.
Money speaks for money, the devil for his own. - Billy Bragg

Is this discussion limited to only hetero domestic situations? Homosexual relationships have domestic violence issues as well.
Same-sex domestic violence. Fighting abuse in the GLBT community.

It seems any romantic human interaction also has its "issues".

But anyway...Why is the man always blamed in domestic situations? I'm 6'6' and I have had more than a couple female gnats (size comparison only) run up at me as if they dared me to knock their block off. Men have a tendency to be aggressive and we all know that. But women also have a tendency to think that they can take some liberties because a man "isn't supposed to hit a girl". Bull.

My mom taught me that anyone who can pass a lick has opened themselves up to receive one. She taught me never to hit a girl in anger, but not to stand there like a dumas either. Leviathon is right. The punishment for physical abuse should be equal. If it is determined that a woman is an aggressor and starts a fight, why shouldn't she be charged with a felony. It might be a deterrent, because the next time the guy might rip her head off.

But I guess we are missing one point. The penal law punish a human being behavior only, regardless gender, sex or religion. We can't say that the same human behavior is a crime or a misdemanour depending on the sex of the agressor. Penal Law is equal for all

Look how things are over here.

If my wife, rightnow call the police and say: My husband has treaten me and he is at this address. Police will come where I am, handcuffs and straight to the Police Station. No answers, no checking wife's version, no nothing. If this happens on Friday, the whole week-end at th Police Station, 'till the judge see you on Monday.

Last year, we had, more or less, 120.000 domestic violence legal actions in Court of Justice, but only 18.000/20.000 succeded. What about the 100.000 legal actions left?

What we have here is not fair. Last night, one more woman killed.
But equal behavior deserves only equal punishment.

Saludos

Physical violence is always more easy to commit in more traditional patriarchal societies (Middle East, Africa, some part of Asia, etc.). In those regions they are treated as second class citizens. However, it is mediated in some areas through an informal council of women. Therefore, if a woman is abused, she can tell the other women who in turn tell their husbands who in turn take up the problem with the offending man or bring him before the local justice. However, there is no guarantee for justice for the abused woman since in a patriarchal society the laws are usually biased in favor of the man.

In matriarchal societies (which are almost gone from the world) such as many traditional Native American Tribes, there is a council of women and the women usually control the agricultural areas while the domain of the men was the wilderness. The men have a council as well but most of the tribes production flows from the agricultural area which is controlled by the women. In these societies, when a man abuses his wife, she informs the council of women. Then when the man returns home from hunting or whatever, he finds all of his belongings sitting outside his house. He then would have to move back into the lodge where all the unmarried young men stayed. There, he would be taunted and ridiculed. Also, he would have to deal with ostracism from most of the tribe and provide for himself in many ways by performing women's work which resulted in even more taunting from other men.

What we have today imo is somewhat imbalanced through isolated nuclear families. When either sex has few ways to release agitation or stress, bad things tend to happen. The woman expresses her discontent by continuously bringing up things which the man doesn't like and thereby increasing stress or by going out to areas such as bars where there are other men. The man's stress builds and releases it through abusing her either verbally of physically. By the time the police step in the worst damage has already been done. In some cases, the abused woman never speaks or reports it due to shame. Her anxiety builds and builds until in her mind the only escape is murder.

Therefore, whether the police should be involved or not, I think depends on the context. Does the husband and wife have a nearby extended family? Is there someone else the woman can turn to for protection other than the police. If there is only the police, the woman usually makes the mistake of thinking that he'll get better and he promised me he'd never do it again, and so forth and so on. I think women make these bad decisions due to their isolation and because they generally have no one else to confide in.

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