Ah, but that's how the government gets the American sheeple to accept such things. The government feeds you this line about how it's "for the children's safety" or "Don't you want to protect your children?" and then they've got you hooked. First it's chips in the backpacks; then, when enough children forget their backpacks or bring a different backpack, it's chips in the skin.

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A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes toward the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."